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Why do I experience same-sex attraction? Still others maintain that no one to blame because there’s nothing wrong there’s. Others try to make the real level that right now there is little trigger. Some are part of a blame game. Read around a you’ll and bit soon find that there are usually a complete host of theories to select from. Some are linked with a ‘cure’, but we carry out not endorse this simplistic idea.

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My choice?

According to some people it is a decwill beion that I made. That one day I woke up and consciously chose to be attracted to lots of of the boys I was growing up with rather than some of the girls. And therefore, I’m to blame. I could possess altered but I wrongly opted not necessarily to.

The problem is that thwill be was not the case. I was initially simply wired differently. Though there is evidence supporting the fluidity of sexuality in a small number of people (especially women),1 there will be little scientific evidence that we ourselves can turn our desires on and off. I carried out no rewiring myself. As pubecomerty began, I was as instinctively drawn to some of the boys as they were instinctively drawn to some of the girls.

My parents?

According to others the blame lies with my parents. So, they’re to pin the consequence on. My close relationship with my domineering mother and my distant relationship with my passive father shaped my sexuality from an early age.

Except that my Mum and Dad don’t fit those crude stereotypes. They’d be the first to say that they aren’t perfect but I’ve enjoyed a good relationship with them both throughout my life. And tragically, what stopped me talking about my sexuality with them was the fear that they’d become blamed by others - though they’ve never been held accountable by me.

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My history?

Being sexually abused as a child is what’s really caused it: being seduced as a young teenager by that older man so damaged my sexuality that I’ve ended up with same-sex attraction. He’s to blame.

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But that never happened. No grown-up actually lay a little finger on me in that kind of method. My sex offers certainly not happen to be designed in this method by anyone else.

My abilities?

My lack of hand-to-eye co-ordination is another potential guilty party. Not being able to catch a ball, being one of the last chosen for sports teams always, formed myself in to a person who have preferred the kind involving guy My spouse and i would in no way become sexually. My lack of binocular vwill beion is to blame!

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But many friends had the same experience as children and are entirely heterosexual. That has been suggested! But I will’w not discover the soccer ball nevertheless. Would We alteration if We became great at rugby really?

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My genetics?

I simply have the ‘gay gene’ according to some. We was born with auburn hair. It’s in my DNA there. There is nothing I can do about either (except the auburn hair will be fading whilst the same-sex attraction is not). I was initially born gay.

The problem is that the exwill betence of a ‘gay gene’ is much debated. 2 But if proved to be true even, it would not make sex with someone of the same sex morally neutral. Comments like ‘He has hwill be father’s temper,’ or, ‘The Smith family has a long history of alcohol problems,’ are heard regularly. All of us have genetic dispositions that lead to becomehaviour the Bible condemns. They rightly help us understand someone’s behaviour (and increase our empathy) but don’t stop us from holding people responsible for their own anger and drunkenness.

My view

We could go on and talk about body image issues or numbers of same-sex siblings, or whatever theory is the new kid on the block (for either the pro-gay or anti-gay movements). The real human heart and soul and its preferences happen to be amazingly sophisticated in every exceptional unique. While analysis may oftentimes drop light-weight on some components of human being wish, there are great depths that are usually inaccessible to us. What is more, the human heart will be, in some real ways, deceitful deeply; we perform not necessarily actually realize ourselves, let alone the hearts of others (Jeremiah 17:9). We should turn out to bewwill be of simplistic explanations and acknowledge our ignorance.

But I’d like to share the two great biblical truths that have most helped me most accept the fact that I do experience same-sex attraction.

Original sin

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First up is the doctrine of original sin. The Bible clearly teaches that all human beings sin naturally. Amongst other things, Moses had a good specific issue with anger clearly. We were once perfect (and so still have an inbuilt desire for perfection) but are now imperfect in everything we think, do and say. That doesn’t stop us doing good things (God’s image is still there) but it does mean that we do bad things instinctively (his image has been that marred in us). For Peter there was both cowardice and pride. For David one of his greatest will beas of weakneexercises was sex. All human beings have been born sinners - with an in-built tendency to live for themselves rather than for God or for others. But the Bible also clearly shows that all human beings have a propensity to sin differently. For Ed Shaw it is (with plenty of other fierce competition), same-sex sexual immorality. The Bible’s teaching that - as a result of the Fall - all human beings are now marred and guilty image bearers of Fin.

Seeing my same-sex attraction as part and parcel of original sin is really helpful. Part of the dignity of being human is that our actions have consequences. It both helps me to see it as something I can’t undo myself; it’s part and parcel of what it is for me to be a marred image-bearer. Original sin tells me that I am guilty, and that there is nothing I can do to rid myself of that guilt - but, as a total result, wonderfully points me to the Saviour who can and does deal with that guilt by washing it away for me. Consequences that God takes seriously - seriously enough to send his Son to the cross to rescue people like Moses and David and Peter and Ed from paying the full price of our sin. God held Moses responsible for his anger, sees David as guilty for his adultery, claims Philip is usually inappropriate for his cowardice and delight, and ok bye the instances I actually’ve acted out my same-sex attractions as a sin sexually. But at the same time, God holds me responsible for how I respond to it and whether I act upon it.

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God’s sovereignty

The second most helpful truth is that of God’s sovereignty: his complete and utter control over all things, over all social people, over all of me. Now this - somehow - doesn’t lessen human responsibility, my responsibility for what I think, do and say. It’s certainly been my personal experience that it’s the one thing he’s used most to make me more and more like him. But it does give me assurance that there is nothing that has or will happen to me that my Father God can’t take and use for my good. Indeed, the Bible famously guarantees that fact (Romans 8:28-29). The ‘all elements’ I’m promised he’ll use for my good must include my same-sex attraction.

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We learn from the biblical story of Joseph that God is more than capable of taking something clearly wrong in and of itself (his brothers selling Joseph into slavery in Egypt) and using it to achieve something good in his life - and the life of others (Joseph’s appointment as the Prime Minister of Egypt and the survival of the whole nations - and his family - as a result).

And so, although my interest in the causes of same-sex attraction has often been out of a desire to change my sexual desires, I think I would do better to concentrate on what God has caused to happen as a result of my same-sex attraction: much of it positive in my life and the lives of others. I’ve been helped in all of this by some expressed words of the Puritan ceremony pastor John Flavel. He uses the language of the 17th century but his words have spoken powerfully into my life in the 21st. So, take a deep breath, read slowly, and benefit from the wonderful biblical truths he’s applying to your life today:

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Amen.

1. See, for example, J. Michael Bailey et al., 'Sexual Orientation, Controversy and Science', Psychological Science in the Public Interest. December 2019 Accessed 13.
2. See, for example, Julie Bindel & Paul Burston, 'Is There A Gay Gene?', Guardian. June 2019 Accessed 27.